


take me under the blue

by gothamized



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Underage Drinking, camping trip!!, i can't write!, lapslock, side nomin and markhyuck, teen and up rating for some cursing, they love the stars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamized/pseuds/gothamized
Summary: "why do we hate each other so much?"in which chenle and jisung, ex childhood best friends, become closer again.





	1. one

chenle doesn’t hate anyone. hate is too strong of a word. _strongly dislike_? that’s more like it. he _strongly dislikes_ his ex-childhood best friend; co-captain of the hockey, soccer, and swim team; and one of the most popular students in their junior class: park jisung. the boy that was attached to his hip throughout their youth, who had sleepovers at chenle’s house so often jisung’s parents almost filed a missing person’s report three times. the same boy with fun-dip colored hair that broke chenle’s heart when he returned to korea a little over a year ago, who completely ignored chenle’s attempts to talk to him at the beginning of sophomore year, sometimes pretending to not know him and even being rude to him. chenle gave up on rekindling their friendship quickly; his heart hurt too much every time jisung gave him that look of abhorrence when he approached him. he knew jisung liked to hold grudges, but he never thought he would hold one against his best friend. instead, he became close friends with na jaemin and huang renjun, two of the most talented members of sm high school’s men’s choir. they were the greatest friends chenle could ask for. yet no matter how many times they cuddled, watched movies, and spent their days together, it never felt the same way as it did with jisung. did he really “strongly dislike” him, or was he just angry from missing him so much?

\--

“renjun just texted me that mr. jung is assigning a project in history,” jaemin told chenle as they walked to said class, “he got paired with yukhei.” he wiggled his eyebrows and chenle sighed.

“all that guy does is scream. he’s going to have to do all the work himself. poor junnie. wait-,” chenle stopped in his tracks, “-did you say he got paired with him? as in we can’t choose our partners?”

jaemin realized their issue right as chenle said it, “oh god. i hope we get paired together.” the two entered their chaotic world history classroom, dodging flying papers and other objects, and sat in their desks beside each other. the bell rang loudly throughout the school soon after. chenle watched as mr. jung attempted to regain control of his students. he secretly hoped lee jeno, best friend of jisung, would ignore the teacher and continue shouting across the classroom to his other friends so he would never have the opportunity to give them the assignment. unfortunately, for once in his life, jeno listened and stopped talking. mr. jung cleared his throat and began to speak in his horrible, monotone voice, “as many of you have heard, i am assigning you all a project on world war ii. you and a partner will be creating a presentation and writing a paper outside of class.” the entire class simultaneously groaned, but he continued, “i will be choosing your partners and your topic. when i call your names, one of you come up and take this packet from me. then, sit with your partner.” he shuffled over to his executive chair and sat down, a stack of papers in his lap. when he began reading off names, chenle nervously looked over at jaemin, who wore a similar anxious expression. rather than saying anything, jaemin just gave him a reassuring thumb up and a forced smile.

“lee jeno and na jaemin,” jaemin smiled deviously as mr. jung said their names. he stood up, grabbed the papers from the front, and marched over to a beaming jeno. chenle made a mental note to interrogate him about that at lunch. soon, there were only four people without partners. chenle knew what was going to happen, and he was dreading it.

he heard jung’s dull voice announce the next pair, “zhong chenle and park jisung.” chenle almost slammed his head against his desk in frustration. he made eye contact with the boy for the first time in months, expecting jisung to get up and retrieve the assignment. of course, he didn’t. chenle, already annoyed with the situation, left his seat, ripped the papers out of jung’s hand, and plopped down into the chair next to the blue haired boy.

the volume of the class soon started to rise after the final set of partners were announced, partners making plans and friends squealing in excitement over the fact that they were working together. chenle and jisung were quiet. they remained that way until the bell rang and jisung began to say something. chenle interrupted him before he could finish his first sentence, “i don’t want to do this just as much as you. so, let’s just get this over with. we’ll start at my house at school. you _do_ remember where i live right?”

“i have practice until five,” is all jisung replied with. chenle rolled his eyes, “we don’t have that much time to do this project, you know. and i’m not gonna let you slack off and have me do all the work because you prioritize sports over your education.”

“that’s not what i _meant._ i’ll try to leave practice early but i don’t think i’ll get out until at least four.”

“fine,” chenle grabbed his backpack and walked over to jaemin, who was still in a conversation with jeno. jaemin said goodbye and they left the classroom, chenle frowning and jaemin grinning.

“you seem happy,” said the younger.

jaemin giggled, “yeah- very. i’m going to a cute guy’s house today.”

“great. and i get to spend my evening with that cotton candy haired prick.” jaemin frowned, “just be civil with him and do the project, please. don’t let him be the one to ruin your perfect gpa.” chenle nodded, focusing on entering his locker combination instead of looking at his friend. he avoided his gaze, afraid that jaemin might realize he wasn’t angry, but terrified.

\--

“i can’t do this,” chenle groaned as he stuffed his face with salad. jaemin and renjun gave him a look of disgust at the sight of his mouth stuffed with lettuce. the three were currently in the lunchroom with the rest of their friends: donghyuck, jeongin, seungmin, and heejin. the girl pouted in his direction, “is he really that bad of a person? he seems so nice when i talk to him.”

“yes,” the two chinese boys said in unison. heejin shrugged and started talking to jaemin, who was blankly looking out at the cafeteria.

“jaemin? hello?” chenle waved his hands to get his attention. he was either in a reverie or staring at something behind the boys. chenle turned around and noticed jeno gazing back, who blushed in embarrassment and spun back around to his table. this caught jisung’s attention and he looked over to see what was going on. the two locked eyes again. this was a rare occurrence, and yet today it had happened twice.

“what’s the deal with you two anyways?” renjun asked. jaemin was red too and avoiding eye contact with everyone by staring down at his sandwich, “i-i like him.” the group collectively “aww”-ed and jaemin’s face turned the color of a cherry.

\--

chenle’s heart almost jumped out of his chest when he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. he unwrapped himself from the layers of blankets he had previously been inside of, dreading this very moment, and began to walk towards the foyer. his mother beat him to it and opened the door, a smile instantly appearing on her face.

“jisung, long time no see! are you here to see chenle?” she exclaimed, motioning her hands for him to come in.

“yeah, we’re working on a project together,” he responded while shuffling into the house. his eyes shifted to over chenle, who was waiting at the top of the stairs.

“well, it’s wonderful to see you again. i hope you can stay for dinner, bet you’ve missed my signature pork belly dish- “

“-mom!” chenle interjected, “we need to start.” he gave her a look that said _i don’t want him to stay_ , she nodded and returned to the kitchen.

“come on,” the chinese boy said. the two walked back to his bedroom, chenle flopping on to his king-sized bed and jisung sitting at his desk. his eyes glanced around the room as if he was searching for something.

“what are you looking at?” chenle asked in an irritated tone.

jisung shrugged, “nothing. this room is just really different since the last time i saw it. you took down all the stuff on your walls.” for some reason, there was pain in his voice as he pointed at the blank walls.

“yeah, people change. i changed,” the other responded and took out the books they needed for the project. he handed jisung a copy of the assignment and continued, “our topic is the campaigns in the pacific. i’ll start researching the philippines and you can work on the guadalcanal.” the two opened their textbooks and computers and started studying. soon, although, chenle realized he was the only one doing anything. he glanced up from his laptop screen and noticed the other boy smiling at his phone.

“hello? jisung?” he didn’t respond. chenle rolled up a piece of scrap paper and threw it at jisung’s head. it bounced off his forehead and, thankfully, got his attention.

“ow! what the hell was that for?” he held his hand up to where he had been hit and glared at chenle.

“we’re supposed to be working, not texting,” chenle scowled back. the blue haired boy looked back at his phone, “sorry, i have friends that actually like to talk to me.”

“ex-fucking-cuse you,” chenle focused back on his computer. he decided to be the bigger person and not argue. this project counted for too much of their semester grade and they would never get it done if they were constantly bickering. the two spent the rest of their time in silence, chenle ignoring the repetitive dinging of jisung’s phone. soon it was ten minutes to nine o’clock. jisung announced he had to go home and left, but not before he was suffocated by chenle’s mother’s hug and given a container of pork belly for later on. chenle remained in his room researching, trying to distract himself from the pain in his heart. the stinging of his eyes quickly became impossible to ignore, so he closed his computer.

as he was placing his laptop on his end table, chenle’s eyes caught sight of the tattered box sticking out from beneath his bed. he gave into the temptation of opening the box. inside were polaroids, band posters, and other objects from his life before he left for china. everything that reminded him of _him_. he didn’t know why he’d kept everything. something was preventing him from throwing it all away. maybe it was the tiny bit of hope chenle had for their relationship to improve. that hope was disappearing fast, especially after today.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we gettin RIGHT to that angst!

the two boys continued to study at chenle’s house the next day. it was uneventful in the beginning, consisting of bickering and chenle occasionally chastising jisung for being on his phone. but soon, after throwing a balled-up post it note, a sock, and multiple pillows at jisung’s head and receiving no response, chenle had enough. 

he sprung off his bed and over to jisung, who still paid no attention to him. “who is _that_ important that you can’t look away from your phone for more than five minutes?” he asked.

jisung finally looked up, “choi yerim. i finally got her number the other week and i’ve been trying to flirt with her the whole time but she isn’t catching on.”

chenle scoffed and held his hand out, “give me the phone.” jisung reluctantly passed the device to him. chenle scrolled through the messages, smirking, “it’s because you’re not even flirting, you dumb cotton candy haired bitch.”

jisung squinted in his direction, clearly offended. chenle began typing a message and handed the phone back to the younger boy, “try that.” jisung read what he wrote and his annoyed expression was replaced with a smile. his phone instantly dinged with a response once he pressed the send button. whatever yerim had replied with pleased jisung, as he smiled even wider and thanked chenle- possibly the first kind gesture he’d made since ‘everything’. chenle grinned back, “no problem. you’re so dry in those texts, no wonder she hasn’t gotten the idea you’re into her.” jisung folded his arms and pouted at him. he realized what he was doing- acting like everything was like it used to be, that jisung and chenle had never stopped being best friends and they were just playing around with each other as usual- and immediately stopped. the older boy noticed this, but ignored how it hurt him and continued talking, “now. since i helped you, can you please do me a favor and do some work for more than ten minutes?”

jisung, slightly embarrassed, nodded and placed his phone in his backpack. he picked up his notebook and textbook, resuming note-taking on another pacific campaign during wwii. there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. chenle was itching to ask the other a question about their assignment, but the troubled look on jisung’s face stopped him from doing so.

they finally ended at nine o’clock. jisung gathered his belongings and looked at his phone for the first time in hours. he giggled quietly at yerim’s messages, chenle laughed at him. 

“you disgusting hetero,” he said.

“bisexual,” jisung corrected him.

chenle furrowed his brows in confusion, “what? when did you come out?”

the grin that was on jisung’s face was gone now, “a few months after you left.”

_just another thing i missed_ , chenle thought to himself. he sighed and broke their eye contact.

the other boy shoved his last binder in his backpack and walked out of the bedroom, muttering a goodbye. chenle remained on his bed, listening to the conversation his mother and jisung were having at the bottom of the stairs. soon he left and the house was quiet again. 

\--

after chenle aided jisung in texting yerim a few more times, the younger decided chenle was now his wingman.

“zhong, i need you to come to heejin’s party tonight to help me with yerim,” jisung ordered. he was currently leaning over chenle’s desk before the beginning of history class. chenle, who was trying to rest before he had to listen to mr. jung incessantly prate for forty minutes, rolled his eyes. he was also annoyed at the use of his last name. he kept his face on the desk to pretend he didn’t hear. unfortunately, instead of giving up and leaving him alone, the boy slapped the hood covering his head. chenle yelled and jumped up.

“you’re interrupting my beauty sleep, _park_ ,” he responded, glaring at his blue hair, “i’m going to the party anyways. if i see you there one of my best friends is hosting it so don’t think i’m going there just to help you.” jisung gave him a fake smile and walked over to jeno and the rest of his friends, who were standing in the back corner of the classroom. 

“god,” jaemin said beside him, “you are a bitch sometimes.”

\--

heejin requested that renjun, jaemin, chenle, and a few of her other friends arrive to the party early to help her prepare. the three boys were in charge of bringing snacks, including chips, guacamole, and some different types of cookies. the girls, including choi yerim, the supposed love of jisung’s life, brought a keg and other drinks. by the time the group set everything up, they still had an hour to spare. renjun suggested they drink, and soon everyone but chenle and yerim were plastered.

the two stood by the snack table he organized earlier watching their friends dancing to no music. “this is so sad,” yerim told him.

chenle agreed, “you’re not drinking either?”

“i’m waiting until later,” she grabbed a pink sugar cookie from its package and continued talking, “by the way, do you know if jisung’s coming tonight? you guys are friends, right?”

he suppressed the rude response he had thought up in his head and nodded, “not friends. but yes, he’s coming.” yerim surprised chenle with a disappointed sigh.

“do you not like him or something?” chenle asked.

yerim shrugged and grabbed another cookie, “as a friend, yes, i like him. but i didn’t realize he liked me like that because he’s so fucking dry half the time. hyunjin had to point it out to me yesterday.”

chenle almost spit out his soda, but hid it with a fake cough. their conversation was cut short by a large group of teenagers entering the living room. he peered around the hallway and saw heejin at the open front door, welcoming people inside.

once an hour passed, heejin’s house was overflowing with people, some from their school and many they didn’t recognize. chenle, jaemin, renjun, and donghyuck were squished into the loveseat, drinking again. jaemin was staring out at the center of the living room, where jeno and jisung were performing some dance routine they had prepared. renjun and donghyuck were drunkenly conversing about something chenle would have to be wasted to listen to. he was bored out of his mind and the music had stopped, leaving nothing to distract himself with. chenle stood up and was about to walk off when jaemin nudged him, motioning in the direction of the blue-haired boy stumbling towards him.

“chenluuuuuh,” jisung was clearly very, very drunk. as he approached chenle, he flung his awkwardly long arms on his shoulders for support, “i need your help. yerim is with a guy over there. she didn’t even watch me dance.” he looked over to the snack table. yerim was standing dangerously close to some tall guy whose face he couldn’t see, still stuffing her face with the pink sugar cookies.

chenle swatted his hands off of him, “and what am i supposed to do about that?”

“i don’t know. go and talk to her for me.”

“i’m talking to my friends over here. do it yourself.”

jisung sighed and, out of the blue, asked, “why do we hate each other so much?” he shuffled closer to chenle, so close that the older boy could see his eyes were becoming glassy. chenle stayed silent and sipped on his drink, not knowing what to say.

“lele...” jisung groaned, holding on to chenle’s wrists. his heart stopped after he uttered that nickname.

“don’t fucking call me that,” chenle attempted to shove him off, but his grip was strong, “jisung, let me go.”

“n-not until we talk about why you h-hate me,” jisung was choking on his tears.

“i should be asking you that! you were so mean to me when i came back from china. you acted like i was nothing to you. you broke my heart.” jisung’s expression quickly changed, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth became a frown. his drunkenness made him look more like an angry toddler, though.

“no. you broke my heart!” he exclaimed, letting go of one of chenle’s wrists to point at him, “you abandoned me. i fucking loved you and you j-just left me.”

as the first tear fell down chenle’s face, jaemin hurried into the crowd. he wanted to yell at him to come back, but his throat was on fire.

“i didn’t have a choice, jisung! my parents wouldn’t have just let me stay here by myself,” chenle choked out. he attempted to escape the situation by heading towards the kitchen. jisung was still holding on to his wrist as he pushed through groups of people.

“i know... but you could have responded to my texts and calls... i thought you died until i overheard my mom talking to your mom on the phone and you said hello,” jisung shouted over the music, “why didn’t you talk to me?”

chenle stopped walking and turned back to the boy, “it hurt too much. i didn’t think i was ever coming back and i thought letting you go like that would be easier.” jisung’s hand dropped from his arm.

“fuck you lel-“ he corrected himself before saying the nickname again, “-chenle. that’s so selfish. did you ever think about how i would feel? did-”

jeno appeared from behind them, jaemin following. the black-haired boy picked jisung up and began dragging him away, who continued drunkenly yelling as they disappeared into the crowd. jaemin approached a sobbing chenle and engulfed him in a hug, renjun and donghyuck soon joining in.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some angst... but also some.. improvement

since jaemin lived down the street from heejin, the four boys ended up at his house that night. chenle cried the five-minute car ride over and was still gushing tears when they entered jaemin’s bedroom.

“renjun, can you go get some water for all of us downstairs?” the honey-haired boy asked, while guiding chenle to sit in the bean bag on his floor. renjun exited the room and returned with four water bottles a minute later. chenle finally ran out of tears, or was too tired to cry anymore, and renjun spoke up.

“do you want to talk about what happened?” he said, wrapping a wool blanket around the youngest boy.

chenle finished gulping down the contents of the bottle and started, “it’s just… everything’s coming back. i thought i got over all of it- and him- but that fight made me realize i was wrong.”

“you never really told us what went down with you two,” jaemin reached out to hold his hands. chenle accepted and grabbed them, “it’s a long story.”

“and we have all the time in the world to listen,” donghyuck said.

chenle smiled weakly and kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he spoke, “well, jisung and i became best friends in kindergarten. we were basically inseparable after- there’s not a memory i have from that time that doesn’t have him in it. but then, at the end of eighth grade, i had to move back to shanghai because of my dad’s job. we made each other _promise_ that we would stay friends even with five hundred miles between us. we pinky promised.”

he inhaled deeply and continued, “the second i turned my back to him at the airport, it hurt so much. it’s weird, you know, not being with someone you used to spend every waking second with. it felt like i had left a piece of my heart with him. anyways, on the plane i decided it would be easier if we just forgot about each other completely, since i never knew i’d be coming back. i thought he would be better off without me as a burden. so i ignored him- every call and every text. it killed me but i thought it was for the best. then i saw how much he was hurting tonight and i realized how fucking stupid i was.”

the three boys watched him speak with sympathetic expressions, “but, i didn’t realize that until tonight. after wondering for a year why he was so horrible to me when i came back- a year i could’ve spent being friends with him if i’d just talked it out with him.”

his eyes gushed tears again, “a-and now i _know_ it’s never going to be the same again…”

jaemin’s fingers massaged chenle’s shaking palms as the boy started to sob, while renjun and donghyuck rubbed circles on his back.

“it’s never be too late to apologize and talk to him,” jaemin said, “if he cares half as much as you do he’ll accept it and move on.”

chenle wiped his face with the sleeves of his sweater, the edges becoming soaked with tears, “i guess i’ll try to talk to him monday. i’m terrified.”

“good idea,” jaemin said, “now, we all need to sleep.” he stood up and pulled chenle up with him, the blanket falling off his shoulders. renjun grabbed it and placed it over him and donghyuck, who were laying on the carpet. the honey-haired boy threw two pillows at them and climbed into his own bed, chenle following after him. the lights dimmed and the boys say goodnight to each other.

—

in the adjacent townhouse belonging to jeno, jisung was sobbing as well. he was sat in the leather sectional of the den, burying his face into one of the large pillows, jeno and mark on both the opposite sides of him.

“jisung…” jeno finally spoke up.

jisung looked at him with red eyes, “i messed up, didn’t i? i shouldn’t have said any of that shit while i was drunk. he probably hates me even more now. i could’ve had him back-”

he broke out into a fit of coughing, choking on his own tears. jeno massaged his shoulder in attempt to comfort him, but the boy still cried.

“d-do you still like him?” mark asked, “like _like-like_ him?”

he buried his head in his hands and continued, his voice muffled, “of course i do. i never stopped, not even when he left.”

jisung had explained their history to jeno and mark a few months into their friendship. the three had been at a house party, jisung’s first without his best friend, and the youngest was very nervous. he tried texting chenle for comfort, but he never responded. it was the 26th message left unread, the last message that he ever sent. mark had found jisung, misty-eyed, staring blankly at his phone and sitting in the cold bathtub of the upstairs bathroom, and he poured out his feelings. he told him everything, including how his heart had been smashed to bits by the boy he loved. the only boy he’d ever loved like _that_.  

“now i definitely have no chance,” jisung muttered, “if i knew how to control my feelings none of this would’ve happened.”

he was no longer sad. now, all he felt was emptiness. the void that had been eating away at his heart the past two years would never be filled, he realized. he’d had his chance and he’d blown it.

jisung stood up, the boys’ hands dropping from his back. they watched him curiously as he grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and walked to the front door.

“i need to clear my head,” he told them, “don’t worry, mark. i won’t do anything stupid.”

mark nodded, “okay. just be careful please.”

jisung exited the house and lifted his head up to the sky. above him was a dark gray haze, not a star in sight. typically there were a few visible, but a storm must have been passing over and hid them. he peered back down to the ground, to the dimly lit sidewalk he was walking- well actually, running- on. the icey air hit him and made his nose numb, but he ignored the tingly feeling spreading across his face. he didn’t know where he was running to, all he knew was that he had to get away.

—  

chenle opened his eyes to darkness. he could only hear the faint breaths his friends sleeping beside him and the crickets outside. he was restless, unable to clear his mind of the earlier events.

he felt his way off the bed and into the bright hallway, guided by the light bleeding through the cracks of the bedroom door. he was careful not to make a sound as he creeped down the stairs and out to the veranda. although jaemin’s family wasn’t home, he didn’t want to wake any of his friends and have to go through even more questioning. they were only trying to help, but chenle was exhausted from it. the crisp autumn air would help clear his mind, he hoped.

chenle tip-toed across the wood planks and sat himself on the hanging bench. the bushes from the neighbor’s garden- apparently belonging to jeno and his family- brushed against his arms while he swung back and forth. his eyes drifted closed as he breathed the fresh air through his nose. the noise of the wind moving through the trees around him calmed him finally.

this peace was quickly interrupted because of course, when did chenle _ever_ get a break?

he looked back at the front door expecting the sound he’d heard to be from one of his friends spying on him, but no one was there. turning to his left, he noticed a tall figure sitting down on the steps of jeno’s porch. his back was to chenle, yet his blue hair made his identity obvious.

chenle was ready to slip back into the home to avoid any interaction with jisung, but the quiet sobs he heard made him freeze in his seat.

a door to the left of chenle creaked open. “jisung… you were gone for over an hour. you’re going to catch a cold if you don’t come back in soon,” he recognized the foreign accent and assumed it belonged to mark.

“no,” jisung said back in a gravelly voice. mark emerged from the house to sit beside him. chenle tried not to listen in on the conversation. once he his name was uttered though, he decided to retreat back inside.

—

to ensure chenle actually attended school that monday, jaemin arrived at chenle’s house extra early that morning. his mother must have let the boy in, because when chenle’s alarm woke him up at the crack of dawn, jaemin was sat at the end of his bed with two coffees in his hand.

chenle jumped up, “jesus! how long were you there?”

“only like ten minutes. your drink is getting cold,” jaemin handed him the warm cup.

chenle pulled the bed covers off his legs and stood up. he drank the coffee slowly as he studied himself in his mirror. his face was puffy and he looked exhausted, probably due to the sleepless nights he’d had over the weekend overthinking today.

“it’s going to be fine, chenle,” jaemin said from behind him. the younger boy nodded in attempt to convince himself.

“i hope so,” he replied. “come on, we have to go. i may have pressed snooze on your alarm a few times to let you sleep in.”

chenle glanced back at the clock and saw that they had fifteen minutes to get to school.

“shit,” he muttered.

jaemin left the room so chenle could put on a fresh set of sweats and a hoodie. they ran out to jaemin’s car and arrived with a few minutes to spare. they separated themselves for their first few periods- all 130 minutes chenle spent nervous- and regrouped in the hallway for history class.

jaemin gave him a reassuring pat and they entered the classroom. the duet sat down in their desks. chenle flopped his hoodie over his face and rested his chin and arms on the wooden top, so only his eyes were visible. he focused on the door and waited.

jeno and his friends soon came bursting into the classroom, yelling about some game they had the previous week. chenle noticed there was a missing member of the usual group, the one boy he really only noticed out of that friend group- jisung. was he skipping class today? was it because of him?

his questions disappeared when said boy entered the room a few minutes later. chenle was taken aback when he actually began walking in his direction. 

he reached the desk and began speaking in a hoarse voice, “chenle, we need to talk.” chenle examined jisung’s face, which was partially hidden by the black hood that hung over it. he could still see his swollen eyes and pale, exhausted complexion. he had either been crying all weekend or was deathly ill. chenle hoped neither were true. 

“okay, at my house?” he spoke in a soft voice as well. jisung nodded and his hand brushed the other’s as he walked over to jeno. his heart was beating crazily, chenle assumed it was from nerves.

he turned back to jaemin to calm himself down.

“it’s going to go fine,” he replied.

chenle stared at his desk and nodded. his mind was racing. he didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen later today. he just prayed it wouldn’t end the way it did last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may or may not have accidentally brokw my computer so im updating this on my phone. sry if there’s any errors it’s kinda hard 2 see everything on here lol


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> softiez

jisung arrived at chenle’s house 30 minutes earlier than usual, giving his coach a stupid excuse to get out of practice quickly. chenle’s mother greeted him at the front door and offered him some dinner, and for the first time he declined it, rushing upstairs.  
jisung slowed his pace down as he approached the closed bedroom door. his sweaty hand turned the knob and reluctantly pushed the door open.  
chenle was sitting, legs criss-crossed, in the pile of throw pillows on his unusually large bed. he peered up at the door and weakly smiled at the sight of the younger boy, “hi.”   
he looked nervous.   
“hi,” jisung’s voice cracked as he spoke. he placed himself at the end of the bed and looked at the ground, “so- “  
“-i’m sorry,” the other blurted out, “for everything. i shouldn’t have ignored you once i left for china. i thought it would hurt both of us less if i just disappeared from your life, instead of being a burden to you. it was selfish and really stupid of me to not think about how that would affect you.”   
jisung nodded, “i’m sorry, too, for being so mean to you. when you came back, all the pain i had felt arrived with it. i thought forcing you out of my life would get rid of it forever. and the party... i always overreact when i’m drunk. sorry about that.”  
“so... friends again?” chenle said, holding his hand out. he waited for his response anxiously.  
jisung scooted closer to him on their bed so their knees brushed against each other. his hand formed the shape of scissor out of habit and met with chenle’s, “of course.”  
a grin slowly formed on chenle’s face and he began to laugh, “oh my god, you still do that?”  
jisung realized what he had just done and started laughing as well, “it’s by instinct.”  
the two giggled at each other for a while, their hands still joined between them. they were laying on their backs in the folds of the silk comforter by the time they calmed down.   
“ugh,” jisung groaned, “can we not do any work today?”  
“you never even do anything, you’re always too busy trying to impress yerim through your DRY text messages.”  
jisung slapped chenle’s stomach playfully, chenle curling up in pain at the contact.  
“i do too do work! maybe not as much as you but...” he exclaimed, “i’m done with yerim anyways.”  
chenle turned on to his side so he was facing the other boy, who remained on his back. he raised his eyebrows, “hmm? you like someone else now?”  
jisung stared at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact, “maybe.”  
chenle mumbled something that jisung failed to hear, as he was trying to slow his heart rate down. “what?” he asked.  
“oh, nothing,” chenle sounded disheartened. he returned to resting on his back and looked up at the ceiling as well.   
back when they were in elementary school, the two used to do the same thing for hours on end. chenle’s bedroom ceiling used to be decorated with tiny sparkling stars that formed different constellations in the sky. the smog of the city inhibited the boys from seeing the actual thing, so instead, they spent hours stargazing from the warmth of chenle’s bed.   
the stars were gone now. he had taken them down the year before, he was sick of the constant reminder of his destroyed friendship hanging over him every night. maybe i’ll put them back up now, chenle thought.   
the two eventually dozed off, due to jisung’s incessant complaining about being exhausted. chenle woke up soon after though, the other still asleep next to him. he noticed jisung still had the same habit of hugging whatever was near him in his sleep. this time he was wrapped around one of the many throw pillows, nuzzled into the warmth of the blankets around him.   
chenle began to remember all the times they had been in this situation before. often during their sleepovers throughout elementary and middle school, the two would fall asleep staring at the star-covered ceiling. but instead of a throw pillow, it would be chenle wrapped in jisung’s arms.   
what if they were never be like that again? tears unconsciously began to cloud his vision. one by one, they traveled down his cheek and absorbed in to the bedsheets. he wrapped his sweater sleeves around his hands and dabbed away the wetness on his face.   
the movement must have disturbed jisung. his eyes slowly opened and he frowned, “what’s wrong?”  
chenle covered his eyes with his sweater paws, “just allergies.”  
“you’ve always been so bad at lying,” he replied.   
the boy removed his hands from his face so jisung could see he was still crying. his face burned with embarrassment, “it’s stupid. i’m just being insecure as usual.”  
“it can’t be stupid. do you want to talk about it?” jisung asked, drawing circles on the blankets they were laying on.  
chenle sighed, “i just feel like i’ve made a mistake that can never been undone; and that it’s never going to be the same because of that.”  
“are you talking about us?”  
he nodded reluctantly.   
jisung’s fingers rested on chenle’s hand and he looked into his eyes, “don’t worry about that. all that matters right now is that we’re friends again.”  
chenle smiled weakly.   
friends.  
chenle had been anticipating this moment every day for the past year. but why did he still want more?   
 


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sports time BOYZ

two weeks passed by and the duo grew close. they hung out after school every day. both gave the excuse that it was for the school project, but they rarely ever did any work (which was somewhat worrying, chenle realized, they should probably get back on that again). 

that thursday evening, the two were perched on chenle’s bay window with papers on their laps. they’d put down their pencils to watch the thunderstorm outside.

jisung interrupted the silence between them to ask a question, “are you coming to the game tomorrow?”

“i don’t know. why?” chenle lifted his forehead 

 from the window and peered at the younger boy.

“it’s the biggest game of the season- against yghs. i’d really appreciate it if you came,”  he said quietly, almost afraid of rejection, “jeno’s having a party afterwards, too. jaemin and your friends will probably be there.” 

he drew lines on the wood of the seat with his fingers, waiting for chenle’s response.

“of course. if you’re there then so am i,” his words made jisung grin widely.

“thank _god._ it’s my first time playing against them as co-captain. i’m freaking out over it since we haven’t lost to them in three years.”

chenle stood up from his seat and started grabbing items from the shelves of his desk. he then pulled out a giant poster board from his closet. 

“this poster was left over from a project and i never knew what to do it. i’ll make you a sign!,” he began writing _#1 JISUNG PWARK_ in a blue glitter pen and drew tiny hearts around it, “maybe if you see it in the crowd it’ll help you calm your nerves.”

“as long as you’re there, i think I’ll be okay.”

chenle stopped writing to lock eyes, his lips, although in the shape of smile, quivered slightly, “don’t make me cry.”

“sorry!! too soft!!” he cleared his throat and lowered his voice, “chenle, my bro. your presence will really help a homie out.”

chenle groaned, “you disgusting het- bisexual!” the correction made him embarrassed and he apologized. 

“it’s fine. we never really talked about it anyways.”

“do you want to?”

“what’s there to talk about?” 

“i don’t know. maybe how you realized, how did your parents react... but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“it just kind of came clear to me when i started liking this guy a while back. he was gone before i could say anything, though,” jisung gulped, “my parents were accepting after a while.” 

“after a while?”

“my dad didn’t really talk to me for a few months,” jisung noticed the worry in chenle’s face, “but it’s okay now! jeno and mark really helped me through it, and my dad came around eventually.”

“i wish i could’ve been there for you... i’m sorry, again,” chenle didn’t meet jisung’ eyes.

“you’re here now,” the younger walked over to sit next to the other. when he leaned back, his body hit into a box underneath the bed. he turned around and noticed the beaten up cardboard box. curious, he pulled it out and started to open it.

“oh, that’s-“ chenle’s voice faded when jisung saw the items in the box. 

“this is where everything went,” he muttered, taking out some polaroids in between the rolled-up posters and placing them in front of them. he focused on a specific photo of the two sitting on the hood of a pick-up truck, a dazzling night sky behind them. 

“remember this?” jisung said, smiling.

“yeah, the camping trip of 8th grade right? we went to those mountains and stargazed all night-“

jisung continued chenle’s sentence, “and we fell asleep in the bed of your dad’s truck instead of the tent-“

“-and woke up with all those mosquito bites? those itched like hell.”

“it was worth it though. the sky was beautiful that night.”

chenle searched through the box and brought out five more photos. one of the night sky, two photos that they took of each other, and two selfies. 

jisung showed chenle the one of himself, “this would look cute if i had the blue hair here.”

“you already are cute there,” chenle said this nonchalantly as he continued to draw on the   poster board. he didn’t notice jisung’s face go red, or his heart almost burst out of his chest.

 

—

 

“you’re all going to the game tonight, right?” chenle asked his group of screaming friends at their lunch table.

renjun let go of donghyuck’s neck to answer, “yeah.” 

“hmmm... you’ve never shown any interests in soccer before...” donghyuck coughed as he caught his breath, “is it because of a certain blue-haired someone?”

“no!” chenle avoided the boys’s suspicious stares to look at the rest of the lunchroom. his eyes drifted over to the boy they were talking about, who was walking in his direction. jeno followed behind him.

jisung smiled and rested his hand on chenle’s shoulder once he was close enough. 

“hi,” he said. jeno waved, focusing on someone else across the table. chenle didn’t look to see, he was focused on the boy above him.

“hi. are you nervous for tonight?” chenle asked. he could feel jisung’s hand trembling slightly.

the younger must have noticed the shaking as well, because he pulled his hand away quickly. he placed it behind his neck instead.

“a little bit. but i’ll be okay,” jisung replied.

“just look for me and my sign. you’ll do great tonight, i know it.”

the younger’s head tilted and he beamed brightly. chenle tried to ignore the tightness in his chest to grin back. 

their eye contact broke when jeno nudged jisung, “mark wants to talk to us.” 

“i’ll text you later,” he patted chenle’s shoulder and headed towards his lunch table with jeno. 

immediately after the two were out of earshot, renjun and donghyuck simultaneously groaned. jaemin was giggling in between them. chenle turned to them, furrowing his brows in confusion.

“what?” he asked.

donghyuck looked at renjun. the chinese boy understood whatever look he sent him and shook his head.

“nothing,” they both replied. 

jaemin continued laughing.

 

—

 

the game began at 7:00. chenle, although, was there at 6:00. and since he was still too young to drive, so were jaemin, renjun, and donghyuck. 

“we have to get good seats,” he’d told them while he dragged everyone into jaemin’s car. 

donghyuck had snorted at his excuse, “chenle, we’re sitting on bleachers.”

the four were now sitting on the bottom row. chenle was fidgeting nervously.

“do you think he’ll be able to see us from here?” he asked them, “and the sign?”

jaemin stuffed his face with another handful of popcorn and spoke, “who? jisung?”

donghyuck put his hand on his forehead, embarrassed at jaemin’s habit of talking with his mouth full. 

“yeah. we’re high enough up chenle,” he replied. chenle was about to nod when a loud yell interrupted him.

“renjun!” it was a deep voice. it’s source was somewhere to the right of them.

they all looked down to the grass and there stood lucas, dressed in his soccer uniform.

renjun waved shyly, “hey xuxi.”

“you coming to jeno’s tonight?” lucas asked, juggling a ball with his knees.  

“yeah!”

“oh. i’ll see you there then!” a whistle blew from the other side of the field, “the game’s starting soon, i should go.” 

“bye. good luck!” renjun replied. lucas smiled and made his way to the locker-room. 

“he’s hot,” donghyuck said. renjun shot him a murderous look and the sun-kissed boy ran before he could hit him.

chenle’s phone buzzed in his pocket. a message from jisung (‘sungie <<3’ in his contacts, don’t let anyone know that) appeared in his stream of notifications. it was a selfie of jisung in his soccer outfit, peace sign out, captioned ‘for u lol’. 

it was a reference to an earlier message, in which chenle had demanded jisung show him his uniform after he called it ugly.

he couldn’t really see the full outfit in this photo, but he didn’t mind. he discreetly saved the picture and put his phone away.

he ignored the scene next to him. renjun had donghyuck in a chokehold (again) and donghyuck was pretending he couldn’t breathe. jaemin was dying of laughter, his mouth still full of popcorn.

another whistle blew and his friends finally calmed down. 

smhs’s soccer team was approaching the field. the weather that night produced a nice fog that added to the ‘badass’ effect they were trying for. bright blue appeared in chenle’s vision and he jumped from his seat. 

chenle joined in with the applause and waved his poster. 

once he was close enough, jisung noticed and gave him a thumbs up. 

the other team appeared and the boys got into their positions. he forgot what jisung’s was, but it was somewhere up front.

the audience’s cheers heightened at the sound of the whistle and the game began. 

for the entirety of the game, chenle didn’t know what was going on. he focused on the people he knew- jeno, mark, and jisung. he especially noticed how jisung lost his awkwardness on the field. he didn’t trip over his own feet every other step and his movements weren’t stiff anymore. he effortlessly swerved around the opposing team and kicked the ball into the goal twice. 

of course, both teams were tied in the final moments of the game. one minute remained and the score was 3-3. chenle had one hand holding up his sign and another gripped to the railing. 

#7 of yghs’s team was dribbling the ball down the field, weaving in and out of the reach of the defenders. jisung suddenly appeared beside him. he stole it from between his feet, pivoted, and raced in the other direction. the screams of the crowd got louder and louder. two members of the opposing team were gaining on him as he approached the penalty line. one was at the heels of his feet. chenle watched him frantically search the field for an open teammate and there jeno was. jisung launched the ball into the air, over the heads of the defenders. jeno bounced the ball off the chest and fired it at the goalie with five seconds to spare. 

all eyes were on the ball. time had slowed down and everyone was silent. it soared above the goalie’s fingertips and hit the net. 

the crowd erupted at the sight of jeno’s goal. before chenle could stand back up to clap, jaemin was off the bleachers and hopping down to the field. jaemin swerved through the members of yghs’s soccer team, making his way to jeno, and jumped on top of the raven haired boy. to everyone in the crowd’s surprise, including his closest friends, jaemin planted his lips on jeno’s. chenle and renjun cheered even louder, screaming “that’s my boy!” and “nomin rise!” at the top of their lungs, as they joined them on the field. chenle ran over to jisung and tackled him with a hug. there was an awkward moment in which their faces were a bit too close together, in which maybe jisung looked at chenle‘ lips and chenle looked at his, but they ignored it. chenle buried his head into jisung’s neck to hide his cherry complexion. 

“you did great out there!” his voice was muffled in jisung’s sweaty jersey, “congrats on the win.”

“thanks,” he replied, “are you coming to the party?”

chenle raised his head and nodded. his hands slid off of jisung’s hips and he placed them at his sides, “jaemin was supposed to drive renjun, hyuck and i but he’s a little occupied at the moment.” they peered over at jaemin, who was _still_ passionately making out jeno. 

jisung shuddered, “well, mark is driving me. you guys can catch a ride with us. they’ll probably be done with _that_...” jisung motioned towards the two, “... by the time the party’s over. he can drive you home. let me just get ready in the locker-room and i’ll be back.” he waved goodbye and jogged towards the school. he yanked jeno away from jaemin along the way, dragging him into the locker room by the collar of his jersey. jeno was yelling jaemin’s name and jaemin ran after him. 

renjun and hyuck strolled over. the other chinese boy was wriggling his eyebrows.

“what?” chenle asked.

“i saw that little... moment,” said renjun.

chenle sighed, “am i that obvious?”

“you both are, yes,” hyuck gagged, “all of you lovebirds make my lonely ass want to throw up.”

“you’ll find love eventually-“

“-wait. both? what do you mean?”

“you two looked like you were about to be jeno and jaemin over there. you were all red and so was he. cute but nauseating.”

“hey! we’re just friends.”

“for now.”

“yeah, soon we’ll be best friends again.”

“and then” hyuck started whispering, “ _boyfriends._ ”

chenle violently shook his head as his cheeks burned up again, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

chenle was still tomato-faced when jisung rejoined the group with wet hair and a new outfit. he grabbed chenle’s hand and told the group, out of breath, “they didn’t stop, not even in the locker room... we have to run. quick! before they come back out here!” he led the three in the direction of mark’s soccer-mom-minivan.

“who? jeno and jaemin?” renjun asked as they jogged through the parking lot. jisung gulped, “yes.”

they approached mark, who was leaning on his car. the brunette smiled at everyone and entered the driver’s seat. the rest filed into the seats behind them, hyuck and renjun in the second row, jisung and chenle in the back. it wasn’t until mark started up the car and left the parking lot that they realized they were still holding hands. both of the boys looked at each other at the same time, their blushes hidden in the darkness of the car.  chenle brought his hand out of jisung’s slowly. before it was completely out of his reach, jisung wrapped his pinky finger around chenle’s.

they remained that way until they arrived at jeno’s house, which was already overflowing with people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry the description of the game is so short and... bad lol i haven't played soccer in a solid five yrs


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> party vibez

chenle didn’t hate parties. he strongly disliked them. the whole sweaty, drunk atmosphere, the loud music, etc. bothered him—plus the fact that the last time he’d been in a situation like this it’d gone horribly wrong.  
he also strongly disliked being alone in these circumstances. he was currently uncomfortably situated on the couch between two couples who didn’t know anything about personal space. he’d lost renjun, hyuck, and jisung who’d gone off to get drinks a few minutes after they arrived. chenle had wandered into the kitchen to locate them, but failed, instead grabbing a red solo cup full of god knows what and downing it.  
his head was buzzing now. whether it was from what he drank or the blaring pop music, he didn’t know.   
“chenle!” someone shouted in the crowd of people. he searched around for the source of the voice, but got nauseous every time he turned his head too quickly. jaemin and jeno eventually came into sight and chenle realized one of them must’ve called him. he waved them over.  
“why are you just sitting there?” jaemin asked, his words slurring into each other.   
“i couldn’t find any of you guys,” chenle responded. he squeezed his way off the couch and stumbled forward. jaemin lifted his arms from jeno’s waist to catch him.  
“jisung was looking for you,” he told the younger, smirking, “h-he’s in the den. we’ll be back there soon.”  
chenle left them when they started kissing again, as he was not in the mood to throw up tonight. he made his way to the den and recognized the back of his friends sitting on the couches.  
renjun caught his eye and yelled his name. the rest of the group turned his way. jisung’s eyes brightened at the sight of him.   
“where’d you go? i was looking for you for like ten minutes,” he said. chenle sat between him and hyuck, who was in a discussion with mark.   
“i was trying to find you guys too. i was in the living room and jaemin and jeno told me where you were.”  
“speaking of, since when have they been a thing?” mark asked.  
“since tonight. we knew jaemin liked him but i never thought he’d do anything about it,” renjun said.   
“i guess anything can happen in smhs,” mark said, glancing at donghyuck. the red haired boy’s eyes widened.   
“oh my god. why the fuck are you looking at me?” hyuck yelled. mark began to say something back, but chenle ignored their gay panicking and turned to a sullen jisung already looking in his direction.  
“what’s wrong?” chenle asked. he put his cup in between his legs so he could place a comforting hand on the other’s thigh.   
“nothing. i just feel sad... and drunk. very drunk. my head hurts.”  
“you have me! i’m also very drunk. we can be sad and drunk together,” chenle turned his body so he could rest his head on jisung’s legs, and the rest of his body on donghyuck.   
“chenleee!” donghyuck protested. he was silent after chenle gave him a light kick.  
jisung looked down at the boy resting on his lap. his eyes were closed so jisung could see his eyelids sparkling with some type of glittery eyeshadow. black was lined carefully from his tear duct to the edge of his outer eyelid. jisung resisted the urge to compliment him. he was too drunk and scared he’d reveal something.   
chenle’s eyes fluttered open, “you’re staring at me sungie.”  
the way that nickname rolled off his tongue made jisung say fuck it.  
“i’m staring at you b-because you’re beautiful, lele,” he told him, “when did you start wearing makeup?”  
jisung couldn’t read the expression on chenle’s face, but it soon disappeared when he spoke up again, “jaemin taught me last year. you like it?”  
jisung bobbed his head up and down, causing a grin to spread across chenle’s face.   
“keep admiring then,” chenle sat up to finish his drink and frowned, “this tastes horrible.” he flopped his head back on to jisung’s lap. jisung’s heart went into hyper mode when chenle started playing with his hand. he intertwined his fingers with the other’s and peered back up.  
“look!” chenle said, “they fit perfectly.”  
he brought their hands down to his chest and closed his eyes again, “wake me up when we start doing something fun.”  
jisung could feel chenle’s heart beat through the back of his hand. it was racing like his but, perplexingly, he appeared completely relaxed.  
jisung tried to rejoin the conversation his friends were having around him, but it didn’t interest him. he used his spare hand to play with the strand of hair resting on chenle’s forehead. he felt the boy’s chest stop rising momentarily when jisung’s fingers brushed his skin.  
this moment was quickly disrupted when jaemin and jeno came bursting in to the room. renjun groaned when he saw they were still attached to the hip.  
“we had an idea. a very original idea,” jeno shouted.  
“y’all already know what’s going on,” jaemin murmured, “let’s play truth or dare.”  
“ugh, people actually play that shit at parties? i thought it only happened in cheesy teen movies and high school au fanfics,” donghyuck’s response forced mark into a fit of laughter. the crimson-haired boy tried to look creeped out, but the sides of his mouth were twitching into a smile.  
the group of boys settled on the ground. jisung remained on the couch though, as there was someone still asleep and clinging to his lap.  
jaemin smirked at the scene ahead of him. chenle had one of jisung’s hand on his chest and the other wrapped in his arms.  
“yeah... good luck getting out of there. he gets really clingy when he’s drunk,” jaemin said.  
jisung nodded. he attempted to pull his arm out of chenle’s hold, but gave up after almost waking him up.  
“i’m gonna stay here,” jisung said. they gave him a thumbs up and began the game.  
throughout renjun, mark, and jeno’s turns, jisung’s attention returned to chenle.  
the last time he’d studied chenle’s face in this detail was the day he left for the airport. that time, his cheeks were stained with tears of guilt and sorrow. now, he was glowing, even as he slept.  
the airport reminded him of another haunting memory, of the day chenle returned to smhs. the second jisung had saw him, he remembered, his heart had stopped. too many times had he cried over chenle, he promised himself he wouldn’t do it again, especially not in front of him. the resentment he had hidden for so long burst out of him, and when chenle approached him to say hello, he had snapped.  
“what the fuck do you want?” jisung had spat out and stormed away.  
the look on chenle’s face had been burned into his mind ever since. it made jisung shudder.  
“jisung?” mark’s voice thankfully brought him out of his flashback.  
the five boys were all turned in his direction, expecting something.  
“sorry, what?” he asked, blinking his eyes.  
“truth or dare?” mark asked.  
“oh. truth.”  
donghyuck gasped in excitement and whispered something into mark’s ear. mark furrowed his brows at him and shook his head.  
“ugh. you’re no fun,” hyuck replied.  
“fine, but i’m not asking that. do you have a crush?” mark asked.  
suddenly his hand that was wrapped with chenle’s felt sweaty.  
“no,” he lied.  
“bitch.”  
“yes,” he cracked easily- also, donghyuck scared him a little bit.  
“who is she... he?” donghyuck pried. he was wiggling his eyebrows too suspiciously.  
“one question per turn,” jisung said.  
donghyuck scowled, but they moved on to the next person. he peered down at his lap and noticed chenle was awake again.  
“you’re awake,” he said. chenle nodded drowsily.  
“are they really playing truth or dare?” he asked.  
jisung sighed, “sadly, yes.”  
chenle groaned and sat up from his place on jisung’s thighs. he detached his grip from jisung’s left arm but kept ahold of his hand.  
“i need something else to drink or i’m going to die of boredom. do you wanna come?” he asked. jisung nodded and allowed himself to be pulled off the couch. they said goodbye to their friends and entered the crowd.  
chenle led them to the kitchen and fixed himself a drink. he offered some to jisung, but he declined. they sat on the countertop together, swaying their legs in sync.  
chenle peered at their locked hands and made an uncomfortable expression.  
“your hands are really sweaty,” he said.  
“excuse you. so are yours. also, it’s a fucking hundred degrees in here,” jisung replied. he pulled his hand out of chenle’s and wiped it on his sweats.  
the two decided to sit in the backyard when the heat and the smell of skunk inside became insufferable. chenle suggested they lay in the grass, so there they laid.  
“the stars are so bright tonight,” jisung said. he could probably point out a few constellations with how clear the sky was.  
“they are. they’re all kind of blending in to one for me though,” chenle laughed, “i definitely had too much.”  
they laid in silence until chenle spoke up again.  
“remember that camping trip to the river?” he asked jisung.  
“of course.”  
“this reminds me of it. we fell asleep under the stars that night, too, even though we had sleeping bags and a tent and everything.”  
“that was the stupidest idea we’ve ever made. i rolled into the stream and a squirrel almost attacked you. but the sky was pretty as fuck.”  
chenle giggled quietly, “yeah.”  
jisung propped himself on his forearm so he hung over the other boy. chenle’s eyes were twinkling with the reflection of the stars as he watched jisung.  
jisung’s eyes traveled down to his lips. this was his opportunity. they were both drunk, anyways. maybe he could blame it on that if chenle didn’t like him like that.  
“ji...” chenle muttered.  
he hadn’t even started to lean in before someone ruined the moment.  
“jisung! what the fuck is up, my dude!” lucas shouted from the deck.  
jisung rolled his eyes and turned his head in lucas’s direction.  
“hey lucas,” he said as the older stumbled over. he looked like a bull in a china shop, hitting into the railing of the stairs and almost falling into the bushes (which jisung wouldn’t mind at the moment).  
“i didn’t get to tell you in the locker-room,” lucas spoke up as soon as he was close enough, “congrats on those goals tonight. we couldn’t have done it without you, bro.”  
jisung grinned at the compliment, “thanks. you were really good out there too.”  
“did you try any of that fruit punch shit inside? it’s amazing. i’m like smelling colors right now dude. pretty fucking pink out here.”  
“i had some,” chenle voiced, “some good stuff.”  
“yeahh. i’m gonna go talk to renjun. see you guys later,” lucas returned to the deck and entered the house.  
jisung began laughing once he was gone, chenle joining in.  
“he’s right about the colors thing though. reeks of pink right now,” chenle said seriously. jisung widened his eyes in fear and the older boy’s laughter got even louder.  
“i’m joking,” he said, “but i’m still very fucked up. can we just sit here for awhile?”  
“sure.”  
chenle wrapped his arms around jisung and pulled him close. he became aware of his rapid heartbeat again when chenle’s cold nose brushed against his ear, but tried to ignore it to savor the moment.

—

“why don’t you guys just sleep over?” jeno suggested, “then jaemin’s mom won’t catch you guys. we can just put all the cushions on the floor and sleep on them.”  
the crowds of people had finished filing out by the time jisung and chenle returned to the living room. it was around one in the morning but the lights of the neighboring home were still on.  
“yeah, my mom’s still awake. she’ll kill us if she sees me or chenle like this,” jaemin said, peeking through the blinds of the window that faced jaemin’s house.  
the group eventually agreed to stay and began to- slowly, because they were all still intoxicated- set up the area. jeno left and returned to the living room with blankets and pillows and placed them on their 10 foot long makeshift bed. chenle took a large comforter, plopped on to a cushion, and wrapped himself in it. the only visible part of him was his head, which peered out the folds of the blanket.   
before jisung could go over and sit with him, jeno grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen, where mark was waiting.  
“dude,” mark started, “kiss him already. this is getting sad.”  
the youngest slapped mark on the chest, “could you be any louder?”  
“just do it,” jeno said between gulping down a glass of water, “he’s clearly into you.”  
“i tried but lucas fucking disrupted me before i could do anything stupid. also, he’s not.”  
“he was playing with your hands and staring into your eyes, bro.”  
“please. stop saying that now. and chenle does that with everyone, it’s his thing.”  
“BRO,” mark’s voice raised in frustration, “sorry- dude- wait no- jisung. it’s different with you, trust me.”  
jisung remained silent and crossed his arms, distracting himself with the details of the kitchen floor.   
after a few seconds, he began speaking quietly, “i keep thinking if i do anything, i’ll lose him again. i can’t do that... i just got him back.”   
“that’s not gonna happen, jisung, he really looks like he likes you a lot,” jeno reassured him, “you know, jaemin told me he’s never seen chenle smile so much when he’s with you.”  
“really?” jisung couldn’t believe it, chenle was always so happy around everyone. he was a ball of sunshine, always radiating happiness. that’s who he was. it couldn’t be because of jisung.  
“yeah, dude, and i can say the same thing about you. you seem a lot happier with him back in your life,” mark patted him on the shoulder, “come on, let’s get back in there so you can make some moves.”  
“shut up!” jisung covered his burning cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater, “why don’t you go kiss hyuck, huh? coward!”  
jeno almost choked on his drink from laughing.  
“at least i’m actually flirting with him!” mark said.  
“yeah, and doing a bad job at it,” jeno added, mid-cough.  
“you’re supposed to be on my side!”  
the three soon stopped bickering and returned to the living room, where jaemin and renjun were hitting each other with pillows. jeno sprinted over and tackled the honey haired boy, whose screams were silenced by his lips. the five other boys groaned in disgust and turned away.  
jisung sat down next to chenle- or the large blanket that had consumed chenle- and handed him a glass of water. his hands emerged and the boy slowly drank.  
“thank you,” he said. he opened his comforter so the younger boy could enter his cocoon of warmth. jisung scooted in and the opening closed again. they sat there for a few minutes watching their surroundings- renjun attempting to pry jaemin off of jeno, mark flirting with donghyuck, and donghyuck staring at him in fear.   
someone eventually turned the lights off and soon, the two youngest were the only ones awake.  
“this is so nice,” chenle mumbled.   
“what is?” jisung turned in his direction. they were laying on one of the couch cushions together, squished together by the warm blanket surrounding them.  
he motioned at the group of boys asleep in front of them, “this. us.”  
“us?”  
“yeah. i know i’ve said this already but...” chenle’s hand found jisung’s through the folds of the blankets, “i’m really happy we’re friends again. you make me really happy sungie.”  
jisung’s flustering was covered by the darkness, but he couldn’t hide his stuttering, “y-you m-make me really happy too. i missed doing stuff like this together.”  
chenle giggled and snuggled into his chest. he mumbled good night and soon drifted off to sleep (again). jisung remained awake however, his mind racing.  
dude. kiss him already! mark’s voice kept replaying in his head. multiple opportunities for that had arisen throughout the night, and he’d taken none of them.  
he glanced down at chenle’s forehead and contemplated. the curls in the front of his hair were displaced all over it, two strands joined in the shape of a heart. jisung lifted his head to press his lips against it. the taste of salt appeared in his mouth- probably because both of them had sweat excessively before they’d went outside. the house was still roasting from the crowds of teenagers and the smoke lingering in the air.  
he didn’t catch chenle’s mouth twitch, as he thought the boy was fast asleep.  
“good night lele,” jisung muttered. his exhaustion soon caught up with him, and soon everyone was asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO im sorry this took so long 2 update. i wrote 3 diff endings and im still not happy w the way it turned out SIGHS :-(


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno smellz ~~

the next morning, chenle was rudely awoken by the sound of the vacuum right next to his ear. upon opening his eyes, he saw jaemin hunched over like an old woman, cleaning up the living room.  
he shouted something over the noise that chenle interpreted as “move, fatass” and chenle scowled back. he stood up, comforter still wrapped around him, and waddled into the kitchen.  
the rest of the boys, minus mark and donghyuck, were sat at the dining table. jeno had his head on the table and was groaning. renjun noticed chenle and waved.  
“good morning,” he said. chenle smiled and sat in the seat next to jisung, who had his head resting on his hands.  
jeno stopped groaning and lifted his head.  
“the sound of that vacuum is making me want to throw up,” he complained, “why does jaemin love cleaning so much?!”  
chenle laughed. if only he had saw jaemin when chenle had tracked mud into his house a few years ago.  
mark and donghyuck bustled through the front door with a brown bag and cups of coffee. they set it down on the table.  
“we got bagels and coffee. enjoy,” the two sat on the opposite side of the table. renjun put his hands together like he was praying and bowed, “our lord and savior, mark lee.”  
chenle reached into the bag and took two bagels. he placed one in front of jisung, who finally lifted his head.  
“oh hi,” the pounding pain in his head was so overpowering he hadn’t noticed chenle’s arrival.  
“hi. you okay?” chenle asked, noticing jisung wince as he moved his head.  
“no. my head kills. do you not have a hangover?” jisung asked. he took a bite of his bagel and peered at chenle.  
“i do, i feel like shit. no headache though- yet.”  
the noise of the vacuum finally died down and jaemin shuffled into the room a few minutes later. before sitting at the table, he opened the kitchen windows.  
“it reeks of weed in here,” he complained. he sat on jeno’s lap and immediately scrunched his nose. he grabbed a tuft of jeno’s hair, sniffed it, and whined, “oh god. you reek of weed!”  
jeno shoved the bagel in jaemin’s mouth before he could complain anymore.  
the boys finished their breakfast and continued cleaning the house up. chenle’s headache had finally arrived though, so he was laying face flat on the couch when jisung entered the den with a dustpan.  
he poked the back of chenle’s head, but the boy didn’t respond.  
“lele? are you alive?” he asked. a muffled groan came from below him. jisung crawled over him and sat down, resting his legs on chenle’s back. the older boy lifted his head.  
“it hurts,” he said, eyes half-closed.  
jisung pouted, “do you want me to get you some aspirin?”  
chenle returned to resting his face on the couch. “no,” he mumbled, “i already took too much and it didn’t work.”  
“really? it helped mine.”  
he raised an accusing finger at the ceiling, “i blame it on that punch. who even brought that. WHAT the fuck even was it.”  
“this is why we don’t drink things when we don’t know what they are.”  
chenle just groaned in response.  
“are you doing anything today?” jisung asked.  
chenle tried to shake his head, but it hurt, “besides suffering? no.”  
“we should go camping again soon. like old times,” jisung was scared it was too soon for something like this.  
“that’d be so fun! the whole group could go. it’ll be hilarious to see jaemin in the wild.”  
“yeah.” (maybe jisung only wanted them to go, but it was fine).  
renjun popped his head in the doorway, “did i hear group camping trip?”  
the two boys nodded and renjun pumped his fist in the air.  
“hell yeah! i’ll go tell the others.”  
soon, the seven of them planned a trip for the next weekend to the camping grounds a few hours outside the city. they were the same grounds up in the mountains chenle, jisung, and jisung’s family used to visit. jaemin was reluctant to join (“the bugs, chenle, the BUGS!”), but after jeno’s begging he agreed.  
once the house was back to its normal state of cleanliness, the boys returned to their respective homes. chenle went with jisung though, using the excuse that they needed to put the finishing touches on their history project.  
chenle was bombarded by jisung’s parents upon entering. it was his first time at jisung’s house since their friendship had re-blossomed, so he expected the hugs.  
“mom... you’re suffocating him,” jisung told them. they unwrapped their arms from around chenle and returned the dining room. chenle’s face was a bright shade of red, from embarrassment and lack of oxygen.  
“stop laughing at me!” chenle squeaked, escaping the situation by running down the hallway. jisung followed him and they both went into jisung’s bedroom.  
they had to step over the piles of sports equipment in order to jump onto the bed. it was a tighter squeeze, but that (secretly) didn’t bother either of them.  
jisung opened the project up on his computer, chenle watched while resting his chin on the younger’s shoulder.  
he scrolled through the pages of writing, occasionally revising sentences, and finally pressed the TURN IN button. the computer dinged once their teacher had received it, and both boys sighed in relief.  
“thank god that’s over,” he said as he shut the computer and placed it on the end table.  
“yeah. though we didn’t really spend much time on it,” chenle added.  
“we... tried-“  
“-got too distracted.”  
jisung scratched the back of his neck and let out a quiet chuckle.  
“my head still hurts. i’m gonna lay down for a while,” chenle said. he began to snuggle himself in the blankets of jisung’s bed. he rested his head of jisung’s lap and was soon asleep.  
the younger boy watched his chest rise and fall as he thought about the camping trip. he’d wanted to use it as an opportunity to confess his feelings to chenle, but now with all their friends coming along, he was unsure about doing anything. the thought of rejection terrified him even more. they had only become friends again a little while ago. was it too soon? plus, he hadn’t even considered the (huge) possibility that chenle didn’t like him back. this could ruin everything- again.  
jisung didn’t realize he was shaking from nerves until he felt warm hands wrap around his own.  
“are you okay?” chenle mumbled, his eyes still shut.  
jisung nodded, but spoke up when he remembered he couldn’t see him, “yeah. j-just nervous about the project.”  
chenle massaged his palms in an attempt to relax him, but it just sent more chills down his back.  
“it’ll all work out in the end, jisung. don’t worry.”  
he hoped it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a filler chapter for the next events  
> also! i want 2 make a spooky au bc of halloween but i might just add it in here bc i don't have the braincells to start another story <33 so... maybe expect some spooky times. :ooo


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> camping trip gone wild

“chenleee!! come out, come out,” donghyuck yelled from mark’s mom mini-van.  
it was five a.m. on a saturday morning and jisung, donghyuck, and mark were parked outside of chenle’s gigantic mansion, waiting for the boy to come out. they would be leaving for the campgrounds once the rest of them were in the car.   
chenle emerged out of the tall double doors in an oversized sweater that covered most of the thighs. he dragged a backpack, sleeping bag, and a box of fruity pebbles behind him. he waddled over to the car, eyes half open, and collapsed into the row behind jisung. jisung turned his head to look back at him and smiled. chenle squinted at him, mouth full of cereal, and mumbled a ‘good morning’.  
they drove to renjun’s, and then to jeno and jaemin’s. the two were perched on the railing of jeno’s deck when they arrived. jeno poked jaemin awake when the car arrived and the two stepped in. jeno sat in the middle row with jisung, while jaemin sat in the back, squeezing chenle between him and renjun.  
“i am NOT sitting like this the whole time,” chenle said. his legs already hurt from being shoved into such a tiny space.   
“you and renjun should switch. his legs probably won’t reach the ground anyways,” donghyuck said from the passenger’s seat.  
renjun threw his neck pillow across the car as he responded, “respect your elders, bitch.”  
after the pillow hit donghyuck in the head, he launched it back at renjun. his aim was terrible, of course, and it hit jisung, who was trying to fall back sleep.   
he opened his eyes, grabbed the neck pillow, and frowned at both of them.  
“how is that i’m the youngest one in this car,” he began, “and i’m telling you to stop?”  
jisung turned to renjun, “renjun, would you like to switch seats with me so it’s easier to strangle hyuck?”   
they changed seats (which stressed mark out, as he was going 70mph on a highway and they were standing up in the car) and chenle was still stuck in the middle.   
once they ate more of chenle’s fruity pebbles, jisung closed his eyes again. he tilted his head sideways so he rested on chenle’s shoulder.   
they eventually reached a visitor’s center a few hours from the city. the seven divided into two different groups upon entering: jaemin, jisung, and donghyuck went towards the snacks; mark, renjun, jeno, and chenle to the drinks. they regrouped once they bought everything and sat at the one of the booths in the dining section.  
jaemin downed a coffee with eight shots of espresso that everyone, including his boyfriend, gave him disgusted looks for. the youngest boys shared some peach boba tea and chips.   
“so, what do you guys want to do today?” mark asked. most of them shrugged.  
“we can go on a hike. there’s a really nice trail we used to go on when we were little,” chenle suggested, “the top of the main mountain has a really beautiful view.”  
the boys agreed and headed back to the car. after a few more pit stops, they arrived at the parking lot of the campsite. they chose an area a few minutes away from the lake and set up their own tents.  
“are we ready? everyone has snacks and water for the hike?” jaemin asked once they were ready to leave.  
“yes, mom,” donghyuck responded, to which he received a slap on the back from jaemin.  
chenle realized he wasn’t nearly as fit as the rest of his friends when his legs began to hurt a third of the way up the mountain. he rested against a tree as the other boys continued on their way. he was finishing a bag of gummies when jisung peeked around the corner.   
“i thought i lost you,” he said as he took a gummy from chenle’s palm.   
chenle shook his head, “no, i just got tired. carry me, please.”  
jisung raised his eyebrows, not understanding it was a joke, “really?”  
he was clueless about a lot of things.  
“i’m kidding, sungie,” chenle said.   
an orange flower behind jisung’s head caught his eye. he abandoned jisung to further analyze it, and an idea appeared suddenly in his mind. he plucked the flower from its stem and waddled back to the other boy. he placed the flower on top of jisung’s ear. his fingers brushed against his bare skin, spiking both their heart rates.   
“it brings out the color of your eyes,” chenle lied. he really thought just made jisung look even more beautiful, he wouldn’t say that of course.   
the two went back on to the trail and eventually caught up to the group.  
the next hour was uneventful, minus jaemin screaming for five minutes when there was a giant stinkbug on his sleeve. they reached the peak, stood in a awe at the view in front of them, took some photos, and enjoyed another meal. mark and donghyuck explored the waterfall nearby while the others rested.  
the moon was out by the time they found their campsite again. it was cold now, so cold one could see his own breath. they played a game of rock, paper, scissors to choose which duo would have to get wood for the fire.   
so, chenle and jisung lost and had to stumble through the darkness together, using a phone flashlight to find any usable pieces of wood. despite it being freezing, jisung was glad the boys were alone. he decided he needed to confess now, or he’d never do it.   
they reached an opening in the forest roof, where the moon light shined down on to the floor of dead leaves. chenle stopped beneath it to look at the sky above them.  
“look, jisung,” he pointed up, “pegasus.”  
jisung didn’t look at the constellation chenle was enamored by, for he was too distracted by chenle himself. the moonlight made the boy’s skin glow, his blonde hair platinum.   
jisung had watched stars all his life, and yet he’d never seen one shine this beautifully.  
chenle noticed his gaze and looked at jisung curiously. he tilted his head, “are you okay, sungie?”  
“y-yes. i’m fine. i need to tell you something, lele,” jisung stepped forward so they both stood in the spotlight.   
he joined their hands- his were a tiny bit sweaty, but chenle didn’t seem to notice.   
“do you remember when i told you how i found out i was bi? how it was because of that one guy who was gone before i could tell him?” jisung asked. chenle nodded, still confused.  
“that guy was you, chenle,” jisung ignored chenle’s sharp gasp and continued his confession, “that was the reason i was so cold to you when you came back... i liked you a lot and it broke my heart when you left...  
i still like you, lele. more than ever. and it’s alright that you don’t feel the same way, but i just needed to get this off my chest. i’m sorry.”  
jisung was ready to walk away when chenle pulled him back- closer. their faces were inches away from each other, breaths brushing each other’s skin.   
“don’t apologize. i like you too. a lot,” chenle said, wrapping his arm around jisung’s lower back. he pulled him forward so their lips clashed against each other.   
the kiss was sloppy, but it was all both boys could’ve ever asked for. jisung pulled back in disbelief.  
“really?” he asked. chenle nodded and brought them back into the kiss. jisung’s hand traveled up his neck to cup chenle’s cheek. he tilted chenle’s face with his hand and deepened the kiss.  
chenle finally pulled back, for neither of them would’ve ever stopped if they didn’t soon. he giggled.  
“now, i can finally tell you,” he said, “how cute you look with that flower in your hair.”  
jisung scoffed, “you didn’t need to kiss me to tell me that. you call me cute fifty times a day.”  
“you’re right. how did you not know i liked you?”  
“you’re like that with everyone. if i used that logic then i could say you like mark and jaemin too.”  
chenle gagged, “don’t say that ever again.”  
jisung leaned in once more before they started in the direction of their campsite. chenle tugged his hand before he could move though.  
jisung looked back and raised his eyebrow, “again?”  
chenle giggled again, “maybe later. but we forgot about the wood.”  
“oh,” jisung blushed.   
they spent a few minutes finding logs of wood they could carry and returned to their friends.   
the five boys were sitting in the dark, their flashlights and a lantern poorly lighting up the area around them.  
“took you long enough,” donghyuck said with chattering teeth.  
they placed the wood in the fire pit and soon a fire was blazing inside of it. they all sat atop of or leaned against the log seats surrounding it. jaemin handed out blankets to each of them, but the numbness chenle felt from the cold air wouldn’t go away.   
jisung noticed him shiver. with a sudden burst of confidence, he tapped the area between his legs, inviting chenle to sit there. chenle followed, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, and rested against jisung’s back. the younger wrapped his arms tight around him.   
the icy skin of chenle’s temples pressed against jisung’s neck, and soon the warmth of jisung’s body spread to his.   
they both ignored the curious looks from their friend’s and instead watched the fire in front of them.  
an hour passed and chenle and jisung were the only ones not in their tents. the fire was almost out now, the only light being produced from the glowing embers under all the ashes.   
chenle lifted his head from the crook in jisung’s neck and turned around so he faced the boy.   
“it’s getting late. we should get to bed,” he said. in his hand, his phone read 11:48pm.   
they stood up, making sure the fire was out before leaving, and walked to the other part of the campsite.  
“i’ll see you tomorrow morning,” chenle said, ready to enter his tent. he looked sad to leave jisung’s side after the night’s events, and the younger boy felt the same.   
another burst of confidence filled jisung, “why don’t you just sleep in mine?”  
the dark hid the pink that dusted chenle’s cheeks, but his stuttering was still very apparent, “o-okay. l-let me just get into my pj’s.”  
they went to their own tents and changed. chenle appeared again, his head peeking in from the entrance of jisung’s tent. he had blankets, a pillow, and his sleeping bag in his arms. jisung shuffled himself to the left of the tent to make room for him. he sat down, slipped his legs into his sleeping bag, and cuddled around jisung.  
jisung lifted his head to kiss chenle’s forehead goodnight. he heard chenle laugh quietly.  
“i remember you did that at jeno’s sleepover. at first i thought i was so drunk i just imagined it,” he said.  
“i like kissing your forehead. it’s cute.”  
“my forehead? cute? you gotta come up with better pick up lines, dude.”  
“fine. everything about you is cute and i like to kiss cute things.”   
chenle propped himself on his elbows, “are my lips cute?”  
“very.”  
“then go ahead.”  
jisung wrapped his hand around chenle’s nape to pull him down. their mouths joined again, this time less clumsily. they both had each other figured out already, knowing where the other would go, what they would do. jisung’s fingers traveled through the roots of his blonde hair. chenle smiled against the other’s lips at the contact.  
they pulled apart again and rested their heads back on the pillows.  
“good night sungie,” chenle mumbled.  
“good night lele,” jisung responded.   
they fell asleep in bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo. The gays!   
> i’m probably going to end this w one more chapter and then it’s goodbye to this story rip in pieces

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoy this fic! <3


End file.
